Be My Guest (2)

19 Apr

This weeks post comes from friend and fellow classmate Lo Woodward.  Lo is an avid vegetarian and I love the storytelling abilities she has as a writer.  Enjoy!

When the Apple Crumbles… by Lo Woodward

Last Night, approximately 10pm- Midnight (hey, I said approximately!) ….

Late in the evening, I got into a discussion with a buddy of mine, while cooking up a storm in his bright red kitchen. Since I am a vegetarian, I commented, as he was offering me some spices for cheesy tortillas we made, that I may not want spices on mine and to let me check the ingredient list for animal products. Sure enough there was none, as he had strongly suggested to me, but I had figured it was worth the look. Eager to prove my point, I went rumbling through the cabinets, finding a gravy packet that had “beef fat solids” in it.

“HA! Look! See…sometimes spices and baking stuff has animal in it!” I said, waving the packet in his face.

“Yea, but that’s Au Jus! It’s beef broth based gravy– Duh!”

So the point of this story? To show you the simple ironies in life….let me explain. Lets go back in time to:

This Morning, approximately 12:08 pm

My first class today did not start until 12:30 so around noon, as my stomach began to feed on itself, I got the glorious idea of using Jiffy brand apple cinnamon bread/muffin mix to make an apple crumble (cinnamon apples on bottom, muffin-ish crumble topping–> what’s not to like?)

Well, after throwing all the ingredients together to bake it with the very little time I had left before class, I decided to take a look at the label for health reasons.  I have come to terms with the fact that I am, indeed, a label reader. I thrive to know my calcium intake per Milk Dud and Vitamin B content of my energy shots. Among this particular label, as the tantalizing apple cider smells circulated my nostrils, an absolute horror came over me. My eyes get stuck in a blinking contest with two words, nestled between  “Flour” and “Sugar” on the ingredients list……ANIMAL LARD.

My only thought process at the time, was this:

“My precious Fuji Apples! I am so sorry I coated you in the byproducts of an animal’s cellulose and blubber!  Woe us,  shriveled stomach-we must find nutrients for survival, within these cobwebbed cabinets!”

So, as my apple crumble brunch continued to tease me through the lit-up oven window, as it bubbled apple juices and caramelized cinnamon sugar through air holes in the flaky butter apple oat topping… I stood, thrown up against the counter, one hand under my chin like a pouting child, the other hand throwing handfuls of (really) dry cereal in my mouth, wishing I at least had some soy milk to consume the mass-less-flakes with, that were doing nothing to conquer the fury of hunger within me.

The dish turned out beautifully and I hope, at least, the boys might enjoy my precious Fuji apples. Those apples have traveled too dang far to be rolled in piggy-love-handles and not be enjoyed by at least somebody.

(sorry to all the meat lovers out there- if you want some apple crumble, you know who to ask- haha!)

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